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Contribution

Posted by lost_due_east on 2007.04.22 at 12:25
To be honest, I'm not much of a writer. I happened to come up with this short story, though, a few days before I learned about our very favorite tirade. It's only fitting, then, that I make there's this guy who pisses off this gypsy, right? I mean, don't all the best stories start out that way?it my contribution. I will re-tell it here exactly as I told it to my boyfriend in the car on the way to work the other day, with language and syntax preserved.

Be warned: I've told this story before, and a lot of people haven't "gotten" it. So please don't leave comments with "I don't get it." If you don't, read it again. I'm sure it'll sink in.



So there's this guy who pisses off this gypsy, right? I mean, don't all the best stories start out that way?

So he pisses off this gypsy, and she puts a curse on him. The curse is this: "no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, someone will always be watching when you scratch your ass."

He thinks, basically, "bullshit," and goes off to work at his shop in the town. A few hours later, he decides that his ass could use a scratching, and since no-one's in the shop and he can't see anyone outside, he scratches his ass. But when he turns around there's a lady standing at the shop window. Watching.

Spooked, he goes to the woods, and walks and walks until he's far from the town. He looks around really carefully this time, and he's sure there's no-one around. Relieved, he scratches his ass. But when he turns around there's a hunter standing among the trees. Watching.

He's really freaked out now, so he builds himself a fortified windowless room and seals himself in, locking the door from the inside and pocketing the only key. No-one could possibly get in or see in, and he thinks 'finally,' and scratches his ass.

And thus, God was created.

All hail the IPSTP!

Comments:


our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost
elliemurasaki at 2007-04-22 17:15 (UTC) (Link)
*hysterical laughing fit*
lost_due_east at 2007-04-22 17:24 (UTC) (Link)
Glad you understand/approve!

Also, icon kudos.
Amy Sterling Casil
asterling at 2007-04-23 20:37 (UTC) (Link)
I think it's great! Laughing my (er) off! This used to just bug me so much when I was a kid. "God can see . . .?" Why would he want to?
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